not for the faint of heart...

i am thinking of having a hystericalectomy.

i detest having my period THAT much.

i am SO not one of those people that like feels the womanly flow and all that shit.

i just like WAIT until its bloody well over.


HA.

last night before i went to bed, i decided to clean out my fridge.

i removed a cucumber that looked like the wrath of god....

i was then too lazy to go alllllllllll the way down to the dumpster... so, i just left it in a bag with all the rest of its putrid little friends and figured i would take it out on my way to work in the morning.

at about ummmmmm...lets see..?? 2:30AM i awoke to the MOST FUCKING RANCID smell i have EVER come across in my ENTIRE life. i dont even know how to begin to describe it.

nothing has ever gotten me out of bed faster. it was like the fuckin' thing had climbed out of its bag and was now in bed with me, wanting to CUDDLE!!

i bolted downstairs... and went charging out to the dumpster in my cap and gown and dumped it's stinky ass...



i will never eat cucumber again.





tuesday.