buller, buller???

i am starting to feel like i am the only one asking certain questions/like how many times/like why do specific people show up out of nowhere like they just materialize/poof/and then their gone and your suppose to be like what......just ok/and continue on...to what/and why is it that some people are alone for their whole lives and others never know what its like to have sunday morning conversations by yourself/is this it/i dont know/i guess im just asking/ like/ why/why would the universe or the higher power whatever that means and whoever that is tease me like this/what is the lesson/and what if there isnt one/what if this is just this.../i am usually so good at just putting myself out there and trusting but u can only do that so many times till your like what the fuck/ I WANT A REWARD.../like a two year old/and when the theatre comes into play/no/thats not my question/and the cyclical patterns/dangle a little string like a cat/no anomosity/it was lovely/i just want more.... of you... anyone anyone....
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how many times undone can one person be when their careening through the facade of their favorite fantasy u just close your eyes slowly like your waiting for a kiss and hope some lowly little power will pull u out of this. ani d