What I Saw

I was riding my bike home from the gym yesterday up Davie thinking about the little $450 kitties i just swooned over in the fish store on my way to get a booster juice when I made eye contact with someone sitting on the street. It took me a minute to register who it was but then she called out my name. I got off my bike and walked over to her. She said, carol I'm on the street I need $20 and I think I said something stupid like oh what's going on? When it couldn't have been clearer what was going on it was so clear in fact I felt like someone punched me in the stomach and screamed LOOK AT ALL YOU HAVE. She said look at me I wouldn't ask if I didn't need it. I looked at her and she was all marked and busted up I didn't have $20 but I gave her what I did have which was $10 not enough I know to buy what she needs. She took it and told me she loved me. She asked me if I had seen ____ lately I said no and something else stupid like how long have you been on the street. I told her I lived just up the street and she asked if she could come over. I lied in her face and said um no sorry I am having someone over for lunch. I said take care and rode away. And then I thought who am I to say no to her. She was in the cool group in high school the so called bad crowd I was in that crowd too for like a week. Who am I to say no she can't come over and have a shower I panicked I guess. I should have tried to help her and I also shouldn't have given her money and not because I REALLY don't have it but because she will just use it for drugs but again WHO am I to say NO she would just have to get it another way and I'm sure this way would be much safer. I could have been her anyone could have been her, just make a few bad choices get stuck on the wrong path. If I see her again I will tell her about the center maybe she's ready to get help. But I don't think it works like that. And isn't it nice that I can blog about this in my nice apartment drinking my booster juice.