not for the faint of heart...

i am thinking of having a hystericalectomy.

i detest having my period THAT much.

i am SO not one of those people that like feels the womanly flow and all that shit.

i just like WAIT until its bloody well over.


HA.

last night before i went to bed, i decided to clean out my fridge.

i removed a cucumber that looked like the wrath of god....

i was then too lazy to go alllllllllll the way down to the dumpster... so, i just left it in a bag with all the rest of its putrid little friends and figured i would take it out on my way to work in the morning.

at about ummmmmm...lets see..?? 2:30AM i awoke to the MOST FUCKING RANCID smell i have EVER come across in my ENTIRE life. i dont even know how to begin to describe it.

nothing has ever gotten me out of bed faster. it was like the fuckin' thing had climbed out of its bag and was now in bed with me, wanting to CUDDLE!!

i bolted downstairs... and went charging out to the dumpster in my cap and gown and dumped it's stinky ass...



i will never eat cucumber again.





tuesday.

one day... he will be my dog.

i find it really interesting... that i can't write, when im stoned AND in the apartment... too many distractions.. like, the fact that i would rather practice ballet... oh, yeah.. you read that right.

sometimes.

i do ballet.

in my living room.

i'm trying to write this poem and its so nto working and apparently im dyslexic.

it might have even been a masterpiece.

if sylvia were still alive, i would ask her how she did it........wrote, lavish amounts.. pulling word for word.

you knelt down too soon... you knelt down too soon.

its suppose to be about the discovery of cordilleran belts, affluence... a flowing to or toward a point. afflux. and. fertility.


in these monolithic times
we study stalinist architecture

build them a palace please!

she has taken a similar turn
no more as hitler
systematic systems of repression

Darfur.

as a dry plateau
we said; "never again"

now
crowned in distinction
we cast dead children into trees.

here we are in a monday that feels like a tuesday i mean a tuesday that feels like a monday i mean a...ugh.. whatever/ so/ i think i'm gonna make the move into the dyke coop... its not really a dyke coop like for the chickens.. its actually a dyke commune... ok, its not really a commune its a womens co-op but i prefer to call it a dyke coop/like, i flew the coop/ i'm excited about moving up to 'the drive' even tho i tirelessly make fun of the flock of lesbians that live up there and i have for 2 years now been trying to represent in the west end/ i must say though i'm quite looking forward to the ample quantity of women, the really great coffee, and the cheap cheese/

i rented and watched every episode of TransGeneration this weekend... it was excellent.. its a docudrama that follows the lives of four trans college students in the states through one year of their studies.... lucas, gabbie, raci and t.j.. and all their friends/ gabbie could be a tad annoying at times but my heart was totally with her all the way and when she finally had her SRS i cried cause she wanted it so bad.. yep, i totally fell in love like 18,000 times with these folks...they are all very inspiring indivduals... not to mention t.j's hot factor was quite high mnmnmmmm... maybe i might actually buy it... i think its something i'd like to have... yup...





montuday.

up to your ears in spew!

you ought to use a script
a cue

you and your liederkranz
devoid of delectation

have placed each other on pedestals.

WHAT'S IT LIKE UP THERE?

it must be hot
you base twit.

i swallowed you immediately.

like last year.. yesterdays awareness breakfast was very inspiring..and again i felt blessed to be part of such an overwhelming sense of community and support/ there were many brave stories told and i came away feeling much love for my community and fellow queers/ each of the speakers were asked to talk about how far they think we have come within our community specifically queers in the workplace... this proved to be a very interesting question.. and i for one never know how to answer it.. because on one hand we have come so far and on the other...??/ one speaker, a teacher who taught at my highschool and transitioned on the job talked about how she can remember talking with her staff regarding whether or not female students should be allowed to wear pants to school/ that was in the late sixties/ and/ in 1996 she approached the VSB and came out as a transexual and told them that she was going to have to transition, it was either that or "jump off a bridge"/ this was after living for over 50 years thinking, "if they only knew my secret".../ Gayle Roberts took a few months off from teaching and worked in the offices at the VSB while she got used to presenting as a woman and after about one year she returned to the same position teaching physics at Lord Byng Secondary School/ she said yesterday, that in all her years teaching for the VSB she didn't hear ONE transphobic comment, not ONE. so, has there been movement with queers in the workplace..... yes, there has.../ another speaker (who was a visitor to vancouver) was walking down Davie street holding hands with his partner... when, they were approached by a group of men who said "oh, my god...!! what's wrong with you? are you holding his hand??"... this was Mark Tweksbury who was in town to launch his new book... luckily, he's a true gentleman and understands that homophobia is not solved by any sort of backlash... so, responded..."what's wrong with YOU? im holding HIS hand, i don't WANT to hold yours."
Its no wonder he won the Olympic Gold. this is in Vancouver on DAVIE STREET in 2006.
soooo... how far have we really come??


little by little, hand in hand, bit by bit.....

Happy Mother's Day.

dreamed of terror on trains/ wayne gretzsky/ an 80's punk version of the phantom of the opera/ and/



you.


chris got voted off idol, jade is still in the running on antm, and i still care.
shit.


i flirt shamlessly with the office postel worker and have naughty fantasies regarding other peoples mail and x-ray films...

i have taken to local 'dog stalking' at the park by my house... ahhh.. hahahahahaaa...! maybe i do excel.. but only for those of the four legged variety.. no one else seems quite worth it.. so far my pals include.. astro, georgia, tessie, the shar-pei who gets bit by other dogs (we tend to understand each other), java (my ex boss the perverts dog, who i ignore), and the beautiful puppy with the baby pink nose who likes to kill birds and then feast on them...

tonight i will sell books for DOCTOR maya angelou... may my caged bird sing; and may it not be too much of a gong-show...










thursday.

sinai.

with the word census illicit in your mouth
we could have traveled ancient rome

from my mouth to yours
your counsel turns convalescent

finally

at 7,500 feet
i navigate demographics.

hook line and sink her
fuck you pique my glory

gumshoed fish

this is me
ablaze in vulnerability
a seagull who lost her lunch

luminous in atmospheric phenomenon

i appear in streamers

she's got such casual reserve
fling it my way
lady dame
her wide white daisy patch
little yellow sunlight match

suspends me crosslegged through summer
the way people hover to glance men in uniform/ flashing red lights
and girls who know how to exploit a dishcloth