Yes.

We found out today that my gran does NOT have cancer. This is the bestest thing that has happened in a while. But, I am not surprised. With her fantastic spirit and strength there is no way that this world would give something so invasive to such an incredible woman. It would be so very wrong. No one deserves cancer, and call it wishful thinking, romantic fantasy, whatever but she has someone looking over her and they stepped up. Whoever or whatever you are I thank you. My gran was soooooo happy, you could see the joy in her face. I don't really know what to say except yesyesyesyesyesyesyes!!! And the thing is if she had been diagnosed I know that she would of fought with everything in her. She is a true fighter. There is no one in this world that I respect more, if I can be half the woman she is I would call myself a success. I remember once my gran told me that she had seen a figure with angel wings standing adjacent to her in our old house, this was many, many years ago. Or maybe not so long ago. Not much else to say but yeahhh!!!!

playmobile

My dream girl walked into my dreams last night. I was sitting on the steps of my highschool( I seem to do that a lot in dreams ) caught in a web of lies; my own of course, and in she walked, and she was perfect, it was purrrfecttt. She saved me.

later in the same dream I was consoling Jennifer aniston but she wasn't jennifer anniston she was angelina jolie because of her lips, I kissed them. We did a dance number sailing past brad and what's his name and I was a great dancer and skinny of course

I was woken up by gwen stefani singing her lalalas wishing i could go back and sit on the steps of my highschool and wait for her to come in i don't much need saving but a little princely action is always a nice thing

but i got up instead and saw the two little men with their hardhats scaling the walls they look like the little playmobile men but much louder

off to the bookstore i go only two more days left........... in complete and utter denial. it sucks.

I wanna have a competition and the person that writes the WORST poetry WINS...

Overnight you were brilliant
stuffing up the holes

words become fruitless and they buzz like ten thousand bees

this summer I am still hungry
hiding under my magicians coat

you taste like lime

I love u.

Solid light being sent to my gran today. I love you SO much.
it is horrible to think of someone you love being in the hospital over night and alone. Even though I know there not really alone, I had to fight the urge many times to hop in a cab and just go so that she would know that someone was there for her. I know not everyone's like me, and if I was in the hospital I think I would be scared and want someone there and it shocked me how there were some people that didn't really seem to have anyone there with them. I guess some would rather be alone. Its the feeling of helplessness that sucks, like I wish I could just take it away from her so she didn't have to go through it.

hopefully everything will go well today and you can go home iloveyouiloveyouiloveyou... Every particle of good light that I have is being sent to you. whhhhhoooooosssshhhhhhhh.....

You walked into my house last night
I couldn't help but notice
a light that was long gone still burning strong
you were sitting your fingers like fuses
your eyes were cinnamon

you said you stood for every known abuse
that was ever promised to anyone like you
don't you wish you knew better by now when your old enough not to

and I can't decide over right or wrong
you left the feeling that I just do not belong

one drink too many and a joke gone too far
I see your face drive like a stolen car
harder to hide when your hitching a ride
harder to hide what you really saw

and I lost the line between right and wrong
I just want to find a place where I belong
don't I wish I knew better by now well I think I'm starting to

~Beth Orton

bravedancing

God that poem was making me sick I had to remove it its a really beautiful night out there I am enjoyingtheheat I hope I scared the spammers off with the melodramaticihatemylifegonnahangmyselffromtheroof poetry I did like the title tho zits and condoms it was a reference to highschool case you didn't get it I still get the zits and i never got the condoms ha I don't know what is it that u want what it is that u want these last few days have been extra ordinary ever present friends and better than ever lovers got some good buys today I love a good good bye however I've painted my toes now and they are ready and looking forward to seeing you tomorrow these days await

cuz i looked up to see integrity finally won over desire.

um yeah, It's SHANE obviously...

Shade

I really dont have much to say or maybe its that I have much too much my own words are not really getting me off of late sometimes its just nice to lean on other people a bit and some are saying what's with the run on sentences carol haven't you learned anything no punctuation or anything and I'm like oh there's an apostrophe and its appalling me because who has time punctuation is important don't get me wrong I have to leave early by 6 days that's too many way too many I am running on save some money and make a move time for a change I don't know what I want how could I when each day the particles come together and tempt me with a new way and what is it what do you think that I carry around a black cloud and you pop back into my space like a thousand tiny bubbles popopopopopopoppop and I just want you to get out no non no stay stay a while and you did and it was nice until the umbrella went up and poked me in the eye and I thought you meant me well everything you say times two right well I create this sit at my red light and wait change it and make it will it I will you are you willing don't write that will yet baby cause you change with the shifting of the sun and who are you I have no idea and when I want to I'll find out fill in the empty spaces and crawl in like some kind of premature marsupial i'll find a way............................... in.

resume

Razors pain you:
Rivers are damp:
Acids stain you:
And drugs cause cramp.
Guns aren't lawful;
nooses give:
Gas smells awful;
you might as well live.

~Dorothy Parker

The Damn Cast

It's a barracuda, you say,
that attacked, swallowed your leg
and choked to death, still
attached. Its moby prick,
the plaster caster's bone-dry dream.
It's a beef Wellington with your thigh
as tenderloin; or a two foot
long red-hot getting stale in the bun.

You can no longer sneak from behind
to tickle or seize. For ten minutes
I hear you thumping up the staircase,
a dinosaur in lead boots,
before you collapse in the chair
face red as borscht and puffing steam.

Each street bristles with impaling machines.
I say, take care; yet we can't
love in armor, can't dance inside tanks,
can't wave at the world from a barnacle
shell. The same nerves that melt
us to butterscotch brandy sundae's
scream pain hot as laser drills.
Inside that long egg, you atrophy.

~ Marge Piercy