Converge

Pride today lots of colors and rainbows and stuff dykes on bikes and lots of heels and sparkles. I am beginning to learn what is an absolute turn off to me ego and neediness revolts me that's revolting lets resist assimilation shall we cause I knew I was right converge this to approach a single point well I am squirming my way back into her space slowly and surely this cant be long cause I still don't know what color of the rainblow I am to wear today I don't have time for form just a bunch of little arms outstretched and grabbing mememememememememememememe silence is golden the tree outside my window looks dry like chapped lips as two taco chips it makes me laugh to see you try so much freedom and so much time I love it soaring......I will catch you tho maybe not the way I want but so much so that you will breathe me im glad to know that u haven't forgotten just one little letter I look forward to it my little buddy pretty girl carry u away from this place tried and true have to put me first though the real me she is fierce in form there's lots of time and I am full upupupupuupup to the rafters hanging and swinging like a 5 year old right where I want to be

Love

Love bade me welcome: yet my soul drew back,
gultie of dust and sinne.
but quick-ey'd love, observing me grow slack
from my first entrance in,
drew nearer to me, sweetly questioning;
if I lacked anything.

a quest, I answer'd, worthy to be here;
love said, you shall be her.
I the unkinde, ungratefull? Ah my deare,
I cannot look on thee.
love took my hand and smiling did reply,
who mad the eyes but I?
Truth, but I have marr'd them:
let my shame
go where it doth deserve.
and know you not says love, who bares the blame?
my deare, then I will serve.
you must sit downe, says love, and taste my meat:
so I did sit and eat.

~ George Herbert

Covet

ahhhh baby right on the nose with those songs do you see there relationship like I do? Shameless love? No shame less baby I will just go right through the screaming red light and keep right on shamelessly loving u cause there is nothing wrong with shameless love cause sometimes maybe just sometimes sometimes sometimes that's how we make ourselves proud. LOUD AND PROUD. Like somekind of walking everyday float or is it a neon raspberry I don't know they used to give me gas and sometimes they come out mushy when you buy them at the SUPER market but I will retaliate and pick them directly off the bush and feed them to u one by solid sexy one and u will lick the juice of my lips cause there's nothin that stains more and when I'm pissed I will blow u a raspberry like a five year old and u will tackle me down to the ground strong and so careful like u would do anything to protect my head on its way down cause I aint gonna cover my butt anymore cause I would much rather u covet it cause u are right I am yours she is yours like a horse and a sheep together I can't wait till Friday

Arriving

People often labor to attain
what turns out to be entrance
to a small closet
or a deep pit
or sorrow like a toothache of the brain.


I sat on my love as on a lid
of a chest holding a hungry bear.
you were what I wanted: you
still are.
now my wanting feeds on success and grows,
a cowbird chick in a warbler's
nest, bigger by the hour, bolder
and louder, screeching and gaping for more,
flapping bald wings.

I am ungainly in love as a house
dancing. I am a factory chimney
that has learned to play Bach
like a carillion. I belch rusty
smoke and flames and strange music.
I am a locomotive that wants to fly to the moon.

I should wear black
on black like a Greek woman,
making signs against the evil eye
and powder my head white. Though I try
to hide it I burn with joy like a bonfire
on a mountain, and tomorrow
and the next day make me shudder
equally with hope and fear.

~Marge Piercy
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I can't wait to go camping...

Home

I am home. I miss everyone already very badly. It was like no time had passed we just melted back into our old groove of things. It was soooo soooo soooo good to see them. Everyone is happy and well and solan is super big now, its crazy how fast he's growing up.

I LOVE swimming in that lake, I dream about it. We went over to naramata and I remember more time spent there than I do about any other part of my childhood. Its very visceral. I will always remember the way that lake feels on my skin. I really want to one day have a place up there, it a little bit of paradise... Truly.

we went to some of the wineries mission hill was incredible and they used to do Shakespeare there that would have been amazing. The view was incredible you could see almost all of the valley. Complete expanse of space.

it was really great to be able to bond with Johnny he is a wonderful guy I think he will be really good for sadia and she soooooooo deserves all the happiness in the world. I am looking forward to spending more time with him.

I hope I get to see them all soon its really hard being away from them IT SUCKS...Actually. Maybe one day we can all be in the same city but now we are even more divided oh well I guess we take up all three major cities now. Spread the greatness around. I am so lucky to have such incredible friends. I love them all out to the very tips of all my extremities on every day.

I play and I sing and I just let it ring.......

Going awayawayaway... To see my girls my little darlins. sooooo excited!! I haven't seen them in a year and we have TONS to talk about. Get me back in my center with my two feet planted firmly yet maybe a little wobbly on earth.

besides which lets welcome me to something new not entirely sure not really able don't quite no yet what I'm seeing.

annnnndddd welcome me to takin the good stuff off the shelf and the art of conversation with myself.

when your going to look at yourself like this this is what I've learnt you better have a comfortable chair cause baby I think I might get welts.

but I remember my name in your mouth and I don't think that IM done hearing it on a whispers way to a moan but baby IM thinking I could useuseuse the time alone.

the I would like you there with me when I see all those stars I will say your name and blow you a kiss and I know you will feel it cause this thing has traveled fast. Travelin mercies my dear. I will think of you there. there. There. There.

Crave

And sit on the steps till your neighbor comes home and sit on the steps until you come home and worry when your late and be amazed when your early and give you sunflowers and go to your party and dance till I'm black and be sorry when I'm wrong and happy when you forgive me and look at your photos and wish I'd known you forever and hear your voice in my ear and feel your skin on my skin and scared when you're angry and your eye has gone red and the other eye blue and your hair to the left and your face oriental and tell you you're gorgeous and hug you when you're anxious and hold you when you hurt and want you when I smell you and offend you when I touch you and whimper when I'm next to you and whimper when I'm not and dribble on your breast and smother you in the night and get cold when you take the blanket and hot when you don't and melt when you smile and dissolve when you laugh and not understand why you think i'm rejecting you when I'm not rejecting you and wonder how you could think I would ever reject you wonder who you are but accept you anyway and wander the city thinking its empty without you and want what you want and think I'm losing myself but know I'm safe with you and tell you the worst of me because you don't deserve any less and answer your questions when I'd rather not and tell you the truth when I really don't want to and try to be honest because I know you prefer it and think its all over but hang on for just ten more minutes before you throw me out of your life and forget who I am and try to get closer to you because its beautiful getting to know you and well worth the effort and speak German to you badly and Hebrew to you worse and make love to you at three in the morning and somehow somehow communicate some of the overwhelming undying overpowering unconditional all-encompassing heart-enriching mind-expanding on-going never-ending love I have for you.
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that is just some of the INCREDIBLE monologue from Sarah Kanes play CRAVE.
and you know don't you? that I couldn't have said it better myself.
my craving...

Trees.....

I am bedinning( ahoy, the double entendre/Freudian slip) to love your comments. I am going on my blog to read your comments instead of write. yikes.... A tree uh?? A little bit scary, but interesting? Was it raining? If it was I bet I was growing...upupupupupupup.
and you are so right, WAY to many women are taken from us and are six feet under. It pales me and I think about them a lot. I know how blessed we are and I cherish that. I have just recently become intuned to the writing of Pat Lowther. Just one of the gifts of working at such an incredible store; the intunment to all these women. Her husband was jealous of her work, gifts, light, love, children, friends, sex, beauty, and all that she contained and beat her to death with a hammer, one blow for each pang of jealousy. He left her body in a gorge by her house. The same gorge that she wrote at and came to often for little pieces of serenity. He told her children she was out. He was convicted of her murder and died later in prison. Enough with the gory details; we must focus on her work, and her contribution to poetry.

I am off to the farmers market now to buy cherries and English peas.

In tribute

Damn doom to
day after day
break our bright wishes:
to carve a simple beauty
out of chaos.

To make
in this multi-motioned grid
a lattice loop
of space/time tamed
as air is tamed in a vase
or a woven basket.

Best break the world
like a wild horse
or house the wind.

~ Pat Lowther
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Pat Lowther a local Vancouver poet was murdered by her husband in the late 1970's. Her life was taken from her at the pinnacle of her career. Women In Print and VPL will be having a celebration to honor her life on July 29th at VPL. There will be readings of her poetry and work will be read that has been written about her, as well as music and visual art. I hope to see you there.

Ironic

thats a lot of comments anonooooooooooooo........