lemoooonnnn...

Today it is raining, the first day in a while but I think that's ok because we need it not that its up to me or anything. My dreams are crazy hectic and wired. But I seem to be fulfilled in them though, the creation of drama. I finished a great book last night, Truth and Beauty by Ann Patchett its a memoir based on her amazing friendship with the late poet Lucy Grealy. It is a testament of true friendship in all its glory and what it means to have friends you would do absolutely anything for. Like write a blog, THIS IS FOR YOU SOMMER!!! Cause I know you check everyday and I love you for that. If there was a #1 friend award you would win it hands down you have all the points and win them daily and effortlessly, if we were on survivor I would never vote you off in fact I am pretty sure you would win. SOMMER YOU SHOULD GO ON SURVIVOR!!! Its totally your game except for the camping bit we might have to work on that. But I do love you, you rock sister and I feel blessed to have you in my life and your little dog too. hahahaha... I hope you are having as good a day teaching as you can and if it stops raining maybe we can play croquet.

its not just news

i haven't been very inspired to blog lately but i will about this cause it makes me sick. last night as i was having my dinner and watching the news lodged in between the news of the newly elected pope and the news of our rapidly approaching election there was a story that made the food lodge in my throat.
In 1979 when i was just a year old a little girl went missing. it was after dinner and she went for a bike ride and never returned, her body was found a few days later not far from where she lived. she was 12 years old. this was in Pentiction not far from where my family vacationed for years and years and when i saw the images on the news i couldent help thinking that when my life was just starting out this little girls life was ending and havent i seen this before in some movie or a book mabye? and this seems so familier. and then i realised that i hear about this kind of thing all the time it seems just a few weeks ago there was this other little girl and then last summer the girl from Toronto and WHAT THE FUCK! it is our obligation as adults and guardians to protect children.
Her UNCLE was arrested for the crime and i want to know why the fuck it took them over 20 years to make an arrest? what have they been doing? and now they find out that this uncle has other sexual assult charges under his belt from around the same time. Well, we can all feel safe now knowing that this predator has been sitting around for the better half of his life. thats some sort of protection. so he has bad kidneys and needs dialisis, who wants to bet that they will come up with some fucking excuse as to why he wont have to go to jail like hes too old his kidneys will fail blahblahblahblah. i say fuck prison its too easy. he has bad kidneys good. let him die a painfull horrible death and while hes doing that show him a picture of that little girls face. no actually dont dont give him the satisfaction its not like it would mean anything to him anyways. show him a picture of the worst place in hell cause thats where he will be for the remainder of his days.
and then i think, what happened to him? he wasnt born that way. so what happened? they say that the abused abuse back but i dont think thats good enough. its just not good enough.

Here for Now: boring and bad spelling...

I am trying to keep myself open to possibilites, in many differant. I had this conversation last week with this woman who lives her life totally open to all elements. Her Motto is just to remain attentive and open and things will happen how they are suppose to. Like when I think about moving to Toronto I wonder why am I hesitating? Because living in Vancouver is such an easy choice and really that should be a good enough reason to leave. My plan is to put myself out there to both cities and see which one ansewers me back. I think if I stay here I will always wonder what if... and what if's do drive me mad. I am feeling the need to bust out. This busting could take many forms. The only thing I do know is that after the store closes it will be time for a change. Whether here or there I do not know???

Spring Cleaning

I suck up love like a sieve
seperating particles inch by inch

my love is blighted

if I could I would claw my way to you
save you by ripping you out of the water
your hair slicked to your face
and I would suck you dry

a tiny clown faced ameoba

and yes I know you don't need saving
and no I don't think I'm needy
and yes I know I have strong needs
and no I don't think thats bad
and yes I know you would destroy me
and no of course I can't allow it
andandandnandnandnandnandandandandand

but it is officially spring now, time for elastic force,
time to move or shoot up quickly.
With spring in her step.

and all this cause I don't think I've ever seen anything more beautiful.

for sommer...

Sommer this one is for you cause your so keen. ummmmmmmm. k lets see... last night had a lovely dinner with the girls at the eatery and it felt long over due. annnnddd beer and sushi is always a good thing. sacha and i then preceeded to rip shit up at celebrites and both of us realized that its just not the bar it once was and we can't figure it out. we danced though and had a good time and the h over was only moderate settled by a good greesy breakfast. i then came home and watched The Hours and it was cemented all the reasons why i love that movie. i really think its beauiful and i'm going to buy it. the story is brillently woven the charcters stunning and the acting is flawless. meryl streep especially, she really is a master of the craft. i then felt spent so i slept for 3 hours like a child really. i love napping and think it is a very underated activity. i woke up and watched I Heart Huckibees which i liked alot. sommer you are right. mark wahlberg was great. a nice surprise. it posed some good questions and was smart and witty. because really how am i not myself?

annnnddddddddd now is now and i am awake because of my baby nap. a good time to write. i write best either first thing in the morning or late at night, like most i think. i will end my special sommer blog with a quote from The Hours.


To look life in the face, always. To look life in the face.
And to know it for what it is; to love it for what it is.
And then to put it away.


Always the love, Always the hours.